So, one of the things that feminism means to me is that I get to do what I want with my life, and not have it questioned.
This week, I have entered into the world of being a stay at home mom. It is temporary - just for the summer. It was a good decision for my family, financially. (The cost of daycare and what that means for our society is a whole 'nother rant.) I'm excited to spend the summer with my kid, at the playground, at the beach, tromping through state parks, and parked at the kitchen table with art supplies on a rainy day.
Yet, every time I tell someone that I've become a stay at home mom, I have to justify it, like I just did. In my head, it means I'm less then. Not educated. Kept down by 'the man'. I know, know, know that these are wrong assumptions. I don't even have those assumptions about other stay at home moms. They're some of the strongest women in my world, and they all chose the role that they are in.
Why, then, do I have those feelings about myself when I find myself in this role that I chose?
I grew up with a lot of second wave feminists in my life. I was strongly encouraged to be something "important", ie, doctor, lawyer, President. My own mother was a hairdresser for the earlier part of my life, doing the single mom thing, and doing a very good job at it, for the most part. The latter half, she was, and still is, the kind of mom for a local doctor's office/surgeon complex. The whole goal was for me to be 'more than' any of those things. I was going to be the first to graduate college (I'm starting, again, finally, this fall.), I was going to be something.
And, yet, I am something. I am a mom. I hate to be so cliche, so trite, but, really, what job is more important? I am going back to school in the fall. I've supported my family for the last 5 years, so I could have my turn at going to school.
My goal for the rest of the summer is to not explain myself when someone asks me what I do. I will simply reply with, "I am a stay at home mom." I won't justify. I won't tell them, "but I'm going back to school in the fall!" I will just be what I have chosen.
I love this... and wish more people would understand where you are coming from. The key word here is CHOICE. We want women to be able to choose the role that they have in society, and if what you want to do is be a stay at home mom more power to you. I think that you will also be creating an atmosphere at home that you could not create in a day care. The process of teaching your child that gender is socially constructed,etc. You are such a good mom!!!
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