I have some pretty amazing, feminist men in my life, not least of them, is my husband. Now, I know he would not identify this way, but that's exactly how I see him. He often makes me rethink my perspective, and I love that he challenges me so.
Recently, my family participated in the topless march here in Portland. It was really important to me that we show up, as a family, as I was using that forum to teach our son about bodies. Casey was supportive from the first time we talked about it. Of course, he was all about the boobs, but also realized that it was important to me, as a person of size, that I represent that, and show our son that everyone deserves the same rights, regardless of BMI and the size of one's mammary glands.
Today, I was discussing with Casey how the woman who organized the march had mentioned organizing another version of the topless march in Farmington, a college town about two hours north of us, where my in laws just happen to live. I mentioned how I would love to help organize and participate in another march, but I don't know how comfortable I am with potentially running into one of his brothers. Talk about an awkward moment at the next family gathering! Casey remarked that if I wasn't comfortable with people who I care about seeing me, not just strangers, then maybe I was missing the point.
I have spent the last few hours absorbing this statement. He is absolutely right, of course. (I can write this, knowing he doesn't actually read this blog.) The people I should be least ashamed to show my body to are loved ones. There is no fear of rejection there, or shouldn't be, anyway. They already love and care about me. Yet, I know I'm not totally comfortable, nor would his 15 year old and 18 year old brothers be.
I know that those young men are one of the major demographics I should be reaching with this march. They are one of the groups that need to be challenged with the thought that breasts are not just meant for sexual pleasure, that just because a woman doesn't look like Britney, does not mean she is not attractive or have worth.
So, where do I go from here? Do I participate, knowing that it will be uncomfortable if I run into family, but will most likely at least provoke conversation around the dinner table? Or, do I stay home, ashamed to show my breasts in a place where teenage boys might just happen to be?
I guess when I frame it like that, the answer is pretty obvious.
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